Norms Bait and Tackle

[angelface555]

"It's a controversial topic in the feline behavior world, but many believe it's simply due to overstimulation. Repetitive petting can cause your cat to become overly excited and trigger an arousal-based bite. Commonly, I see static electricity as a reason for cats to bite during petting."

https://www.hartz.com/how-to-stop-your-cat-from-biting/

Declawing is inhumane. To put it in human terms, think of someone removing the top third of all ten fingers. Then think of trying to adjust without that top third and retraining how to use your hands.

Dangers of Feeding Milk to Your Cat

https://www.thesprucepets.com/is-milk-okay-for-my-cat-552036?utm_campaign=petsl&utm_medium=email&utm_source=cn_nl&utm_content=17066992&utm_term=list_gl_ot_spruce-default

[angelface555]

Last night we had some severe thundershowers that Farrah who ignores fire alarms and vacuums,(She watches to see how I react first); was fascinated by.  She watched the storm from her top shelf while keeping an eye on me to see how I reacted. If I'm calm, so is she. This morning is bright and sunny.

Severe Thunderstorm Warning
Weather Updated: Jun 02 6:49PM
Issued by the National Weather Service
For Middle Tanana Valley, Alaska
SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING FROM 6:49PM AKDT SUN UNTIL 7:15PM AKDT SUN THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN FAIRBANKS HAS ISSUED A * SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING FOR... SOUTHWESTERN MIDDLE TANANA VALLEY IN ALASKA... * UNTIL 715 PM AKDT. * AT 646 PM AKDT, A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WAS LOCATED OVER WEST FAIRBANKS AND THE FAIRBANKS INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. THE STORM IS MOVING SOUTHWEST AND WILL ALSO IMPACTS AREAS ALONG CHENA PUMP RD. HAZARD...QUARTER SIZE HAIL, FREQUENT LIGHTNING AND BRIEF HEAVY DOWNPOURS. SOURCE...RADAR INDICATED. IMPACT...DAMAGE TO VEHICLES. * THIS SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WILL REMAIN OVER MAINLY RURAL AREAS OF SOUTHWESTERN MIDDLE TANANA VALLEY. PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS... FOR YOUR PROTECTION MOVE TO AN INTERIOR ROOM ON THE LOWEST FLOOR OF A BUILDING. && HAIL...<.75IN WIND...<50MPH>

[CallieOK]

Patricia, weather warning sounds very familiar.  We get them almost daily during April and May....and, this year, may do so during June.

I've been following the college girls' softball championship tournament...being played here in OKC.  Supposed to be 5 or 6 games during the afternoon/night. One game on Saturday afternoon was delayed for 3 hours because of severe weather.

The first of "best 2 out of 3" championship games is scheduled for tonight.  Guess what the weather forecast is? 

[Mary Ann]

It's a beautiful day in Marine City today and the ships have kept me from getting dressed!  I am going to get dressed, however, very soon.

I have offered Kendrick small amounts of milk and he laps up a bit but leaves some.  If I have had ice cream, I've left just a bit for him and he has eaten it and he's left it alone.  When he's done, I take up the dish so it doesn't set around for him to return to. 

Kendrick has claws and I know it.  He has shot his claws at me a couple of times, drawing blood.  I never thought of seeking treatment and fortunately all is OK.  I think he went after me because I wasn't petting him on his back.  It is all his fault because when he lies down for petting, he gets so far from me that I can't reach him.  He does like to be petted and I can hear his motor running when I pet him.  It is a ritual each night when I get my bed ready for me, he comes in for his nightly petting.  He usually has left the room before I return.  About midnight or 1 am he jumps on the bed and snuggles where I can reach him and I pet his head and neck for a while, then I put my hand by his neck and just leave it there.  He sleeps about a half hour, then leaves, especially if I cough or sneeze.  He'll come back later in the morning, usually after I've gotten up for the usual cause about 4 am.  Again, he stays about a half hour. 

I am very wary of his claws but he hasn't clawed me for a long time and I try to see that he doesn't.

Thanks for the milk article, Patricia, so I know I'm not depriving him of anything. He's a good cat.

Mary Ann

[Vanilla-Jackie]

Larry Hanna...
...I joined a bereavement forum ( Sue Ryder ) and now one regular lady member ( there seemed to be a few who lost their partner-hubby the same week i lost Richard, or a week before) who we have now exchanged phone numbers and she phoned me this morning at an agreed time where we had quite a long chat, amongst the tears-crying we shared stories and some amusing, not sure I can call it laughter but some humorous memories of our loved ones...the things we done, the things we had planned...

[Marilyne]

Jackie - The bereavement forum sounds just right for you.  The people you can really relate to, are those who are suffering the same loss as you, and within the same  time frame.  I'm sure this will be very comforting for you, and you will make lots of new friends.

Patricia - interesting links on cat behavior and also the information about the dangers of feeding cats milk. I hope your thunderstorms have subsided? it's a rare "treat" when we get thunder and lightning, here in NorCal.  Maybe once a year, if that, and usually only lasts for 10 or 15 minutes. 

Mary Ann - I've been neglecting the cams, the past couple of days. I really enjoyed Marine City, last week, but haven't looked at it, or the Duluth schedule in a couple of days.  I remember getting nicked with Winnie's claws a couple of times, but usually it was when he was stretching way out, and flexing his paws, and I just happened to be in his way.  He was really very docile and easy going, so I never had any complaints. He never scratched the furniture, or any fabrics like bedding, curtains, etc.  I always had scratching posts and in recent years, those neat little corrugated cardboard thingy's - some are kind of like an arch, and others are like a sling.  Whatever shape they were, he loved them! 

[Johann Mc]

I wanted share with you all  that I got a call from one of Lindancer's relatives today saying that she passed away yesterday and I was on a list of people that she wanted them to call.  Her name was Gloria Hansen and she also went by DeAngel.  I never met her in person but we got to be friends when I was moderating the South Carolina forum on Senior Net.  She had grown up in Charleston, SC, and married her husband who was stationed at the Naval Base there during WWII.  They had retired to Long Island, NY, and he passed away several years ago.  They had lost both of their sons in accidents and I think it was a daughter-in-law that called me.  We had a great friendship and talked on the phone periodically and I will really miss her! I wanted to be sure that her friends here knew.  I have no idea what her final arrangements were but I asked about memorials and the caller said that she left no instructions about preferred donations. 

Our son from Pensacola is here for several days since we celebrated Windell's 90th birthday at the annual McCrackin family reunion on Saturday in Aynor, SC.  We really are enjoying him since we only see him about twice a year. 

May God bless us all!

[CallieOK]

Johann, thank you for sharing the news about Gloria. Her always interesting posts will be missed.

[Denver]

Good evening.  So very sad to read your post JOHANN regarding our GLORIA de's passing.  Thank you for letting us know😢

PATRICIA, your link regard why cats bite is exactly right on to my thoughts and my Smokey.  Thank you so much for sharing this.

I appreciate all of the kind and helpful comments that many of you shared.  I am thankful Smoky does not just attack me when passing by him or the like, MARSGAL.  Sadly, your kitty was not well so there was a reason for his attacks😢

MARY ANN, my dad has been quite infatic that he did not want to leave Diane and return to Colorado, so we have avoided considering this option, but it may become necessary.  He did not have the best day today, as he does not understand why he can not go home!  He was pretty uncooperative to every one that were trying to deal with him today😢.  Diane said they were pretty honest with him that if he does not cooperate with them to help him in these first three days that he will be sent to a nursing home and it will not be good.  Diane is very flustered with him and so sad that he was not cooperating at all today. 

JACKIE, I am Happy to read that you found and have joined a bereavement folder....I do hope you will get comfort from sharing others that share your loss of Richard🥰. I am update on my tetanus vaccine so the doctors office did not think I needed another one having the latest booster within the past year.  I am to watch the wound and if it appears to be worse I need to get in.  Thankfully, it is looking much better today and is not sore at all.

I hope you all had a good day.  Pleasant dreams to all.

Jenny

[Vanilla-Jackie]

Johann...
...oh no, not another member we have lost, I really liked Gloria D - or  De Angel as I knew her, her red hats she was fond of, this has made me real sad...come as a real shock to me...I too lost my long term partner only 7 weeks ago and still going through the bereavement process of losing someone unexpectedly.......

[so_P_bubble]

For GloriaDe - Lindancer

https://www.seniorsandfriends.org/index.php?topic=727.msg156471#msg156471

[MarsGal]

So sorry to hear about Gloria. I will miss her posts, as with the others we have recently lost.

[angelface555]

Good morning from a back to sunny and clear skies Interior. I live in a valley surrounded by ridges, foothills, and mountains, interspersed with rivers, lakes and hot springs and covered with an arboreal forest of spruce, birch, and Tamarack. We are generally protected from many storms and are familiar with days of steady drenching rains or squalls where the heavens burst with lightning and rolling thunder in twenty minutes to thirty and just across the way it will also be sunny and dry. The children delight in walking in and out of the rain, giggling.

Hail isn't common here altho what we have seen, is usually covering the ground like snow or breaking windows and damaging cars. I think I've seen hail here perhaps three times in over sixty years. So that hour to an hour and a half storm was quite a spectacular show and unusual in that I saw no lightening, but the thunder just reverberated and rolled through. The rest of our week is to be sunny.

I will miss Gloria. She was a quiet, lovely spirit. We first bonded over losing our children and loving our cats. It went on to the fascinating differences of lives spent 4,288 miles from each other and what struck us funny, or odd and we had to share. She will be missed. It is the ones who speak the quietest that teach us the most.

[Mary Ann]

I will miss Gloria; she was an inspiration with her cheerfulness and not letting much stop her.  She was two months older than I am and when you're in your mid-90s, it makes you think when you lose someone.  At church in the last month, I've lost two friends, one was 95 and the other 94.  My closest friends have already died.  I'm thankful for a loving family, kind of close in proximity.

Paul just went under the Blue Water Bridge at Port Huron.  It fascinates me to think of someone steering the ship from the back, but I also think of the seamen who must walk the entire length of the ship for something work related.  That's 1013 feet, nearly a third of a mile.  Maybe in a couple of hours, the ship will be near its destination, St Clair, so it will not reach Marine City just yet.

Mary Ann

[Johann Mc]

All of your comments about Gloria de have really enriched my memories of her! It's really so wonderful that technology has made it possible for us to make close friendships with people who live miles away from us! Although I don't find time to post much these days, I always enjoy your posts when I get here. On Mondays I tell myself that I have a whole week to get things done and before I know it, Friday is here!

Jackie, I have been saying some prayers for you.  I'm so glad you have found a bereavement forum to share with!

Larry, you are definitely an inspiration!  So happy that Hospice is helping you also and giving you some peace of mind.

Angelface, Jenny, and Mary Ann, your cat comments remind me how much I miss having a furry ball jump up in my lap to be petted, but just can't risk bringing back asthma again.

Jenny, hope your dad improves and feels better. I know that concerns you.

Hope you all have a rewarding week. God bless us all!

[Joy]

Good morning.

I just wrote a long message over in the Soda Shoppe.

I, too, was sorry to read that Gloria had passed away.  I didn't think that any of us expected that to happen so soon. She  seemed to be good up to the end. I am glad that her DIL was still with her.  And, she was so  blessed to have so many good friends and neighbors to help her. Her cheerful messages will be missed.

Jackie, I am so happy that you have found a nice bereavement group. I am sure that will be a big help for you.  Just to be able to talk to some new friends will be good for you.  It will take time, but you do seem to be doing better.

Jenny, I am so sorry about all the family problems you are having to deal with.  It never rains, but when it pours.  I sure hope the situation with your dad can be solved quickly. My thoughts are with you.

I just got a grocery order and I had gotten some steamed shrimp. Need to get them peeled so I can make some shrimp salad. That will last me for a couple days. 

I hope everyone will have a pleasant day.

Joy

[Vanilla-Jackie]

My daughters started again, the phone rang 5.pm'ish, I saw it was her phone number, I stupidly answered it, and hey, she is back to her drinking and crying and her " poor me. " and trying to bring up something from the past, 40 plus years ago..I asked her how she is getting the money to buy drink, seeings she says she has no money...her answer as she was crying was " I stole it.." telling me " she has to be honest.." well I cant for the life of me understand why she feels drinking is going to sort her problems out, she is not a teenager, for h**ven* s*k* she is soon to be 50..When she doesn't like hearing something I say she puts the phone down on me, then rings back when it suits her, and she will just keep ringing one after the other, I have no Idea how I am going to put a stop to this, I know she is my daughter but 35 plus years on, she hasn't changed one bit....Now i have to keep adjusting my phone as for every message it is a complicated phone to delete, the phone just beeps and beeps...I haven't heard from her since the last time she gave me non stop phone trouble, my phone has been quiet, now I fear it is starting over again...I am at my tether with her...

Joy...
...I might be coping better if I wasn't getting my daughters phone calls...If Richard hadn't of died, she would still be none the wiser to my home address and my phone number...She never liked it that I had kept them from her...It felt the right thing to do at the time, and I thought all this drinking had been placed in the past,  She was sober and fine the day she turned up for Richards funeral, friendly and bubbly, I honestly thought she has grown up now..thought by now that she has a grand-son, she would have matured and been more responsible, a more mature person..she is just ruining her life...she has no idea what this drink is going to do to the insides of her body... 

[Marilyne]

I join all of you who post here, in mourning the passing of Gloria de.  Such a dear sweet lady, who always looked on the positive side of life, in spite of the many tragedies that she had endured. It was a pleasure to have known her.

Jenny - I hope that things have improved for your dad this morning?  He sounds like a tough and determined gentleman, who will do whatever necessary, to keep going.  I'm sure glad that he has Diane, to look after him, and to keep you informed.

Joy - Your shrimp salad sounds so good, and you've given me the idea to stop at Whole Foods, this afternoon, and get some nice fresh fish for dinner tonight. It is delivered fresh every morning, straight from the wharf in Santa Cruz. 

This afternoon I have an appointment with my opthalmologist, which is only a few blocks from Whole Foods market.  It will be a long appointment, where he dilates my pupils, and does all the necessary things, so I expect to be there a long time.  When I finally finish, I will feel like stretching my legs and walking through the store.

Mary Ann - As soon as I sign out, I'll check Marine City, and see if Paul has arrived?  Judging from the comments, (to the side of the cam), he has lots of fans there, as well as here in S&F. 

[larryhanna]

Hi Everyone.  It seems we have an overcast morning and temps only in the 80's today with a 60% chance of some showers around 3 pm.

It is hard to find the right words to tell you how much better and stronger I feel this morning than I have the last couple of days with no energy and very shaky on my feet.  It felt so good to be able to stand up easily, walk in the kitchen (keeping something close at hand to hold onto as didn't want to get carried away.)  The aid should be here around 10 am and probably by the time she leaves Pat will be back from her dental appointment.  She will be driving herself there as it is pretty much a straight shot mainly over on I-20.  I will continue to work on a few things left on my list but can take things nice and slow today. So life is good and I have nothing to complain about.  I hope you all will experience a similar nice day.  My best friend even called me on FaceTime last night right after I had turned out the lights but not gone to sleep and we were able to talk a bit after I turned on some light.  He had been hospitalized again Saturday night and that explains why I wasn't able to contact him.

Scott has been here for a couple of hours and we have sat and talked a lot and yet he has gotten quite a few things straightened up.  Always glad to see him. He has tomorrow and Thursday off from work.

The morning is gone so I am a little late in posting here but who cares.  Pat is back from the dentist with no cavities and the hygienist we have been using has moved to another practice close to where she lives in North Augusta.  The lady who worked on Pat's teeth she really thinks does a better job.  On her way home she stopped at our local produce stand that is still open and got fresh strawberries, some sweet corn, SC peaches and some blackberries.

Mary Ann, your posting looks fine and is very readable. I realize that our Sunday practices, like you and Dot enjoy is worth skipping the ice cream and cake.

Marilyne,  good advice to Jenny on getting the Tetanus shot or at least be sure what she has had is still good.  No sense taking an unnecessary chance and I would expect a quick drop in and the nurse would give the shot anyway. If you are reading an excellent book then it is hardly a "lost day" but a good way to rest up while doing something you enjoy.  It wasn't illegal to have our cat declawed and we protected him from getting outside the house.  Pat would not have agreed to letting us keep the cat without the declawing.  Stacey loved cats so glad s

Patricia, I think I might bite too if I got a lot of static electricity shocks.  I have had my big toenails removed and never missed them and was so glad not to have to deal with the ingrown toenail. I wonder how farm cats around a milking farm ever survived as they sure liked that whole warm milk.

Callie, you all go form the weather warnings and storms and tornadoes and then come the first of June and the tropical storms and hurricanes become a problem for the coasts. 

The morning has about gone so I am a little late in posting here as it is almost noon time but who cares.  Pat is back from the dentist with no cavities and the hygienist we have been using has moved to another practice close to where she lives in North Augusta.  The lady who worked on Pat's teeth she really thinks does a better job.  On her way home she stopped at our local produce stand that is still open and got fresh strawberries, some sweet corn, SC peaches and some blackberries.

Jackie, how great that you have joined the bereavement forum.  Is this an online community that then can call each other.  Like most things sharing our griefs and cares with someone seems to help lighten the burden of carrying everything on ourselves.  It sounds like you are beginning to be at a place where you can now focus on the good things and begin to let some less pleasant times go since we can't do anything about the past anyway. Regarding Gloria deAngel, I think she was much more ill that she ever let us know and her life was becoming more and more difficult for her. I feel confident she was ready to end her journey here on Earth.  We don't want to lose our friends and that makes us all sad but I am happy for her that she no longer has to struggle to get along day by day.  I think she had found the way to live her life for many years that made her happy with the playing golf, her Homemaker clubs and teaching classes and all the other things she did.  I hope I'll actually get to see her when I go to Heaven, if that is the way God has planned for us. Our lives have been enriched by getting to know such a lovely lady.  I hope one of Gloria's family will take Taffy and I expect Taffy is going to have a grieving process as pets often do in situations like this.

Jackie, since I wrote this but didn't get it posted this morning I can still add to my posting.  I firmly believe I know what I am talking about after spending 12 years attending 100's of meeting, reading all the books that Al-Anon has and working the steps myself to the point of finding deep serenity.  Your daughter doesn't drink to hurt you but she can't stop. She hopefully will some day seek help from other AA member because they understand what she is experiencing and there is no way we can as we don't have to drink and if we do it doesn't become a compulsion.  Call your telephone company and asked for assistance as to turning your phone off or unplugging it and don't allow yourself to be a doormat for your daughter.  Do you lose your phone service if the power goes off?  At least over here, and I think it is probably available world wide where you can get a telephone number and make your calls using it over the Internet.  Skype also works well worldwide.  If nothing else works cover up the phone with a pillow or something else to deaden the sound.  One more thing, if the Alcoholic or addict can get into an argument with someone then they can feel justified as they can blame someone else, even though there is no rationality involved in this.  I hope this helps.  We love you and don't want to see you suffer needlessly. 

Johann, isn't God good to bring Lindancer home to him.  She was such a nice lady.  We were going to talk a bit about this great Hospice care.  May I use you as a person who would have Pat's telephone number?  If so, would you just send me your phone number and I will see that it is in Pat's phone and I will send you her phone number as well.  Jane has already said she has our number and she will be #2 and I will see about getting another person or two.  I don't want to go away unnoticed when my day comes.  Goodness knows she had great heartbreak with losing both her sons but it appeared she found ways to continue to enjoy life and I am certain she didn't want to end up in a care facility.  Thank you for letting us know about Gloria DeAngel.  Let me wish Windell a big happy birthday a little early.  It will be different for me as I am usually a day late with the birthday wishes as I depend on others to let me know. 

Jenny, I know you want to please your Dad but there comes a time when the health of Diane needs to have a high priority.  It is too bad he can't be more cooperative but confusion makes us do things that we probably wouldn't otherwise and many older folks still have bad memories of what the nursing home environment used to be.

[FlaJean]

Thanks, Bubble and Patricia for posting the photos of GloriaDe.  I knew when she said her daughter-in-law would be staying awhile and then her grandson was driving up from Niceville, that she was not expecting to live much longer.  She wrote that one of her sons was stationed at Elgin Air Force Base (close to where I live) when he had a heart attack and died.  Her daughter-in-law and grandson live in the Niceville area where I live.  It's a small world, isn't it?

Yesterday LarryJ. and I used my Mother's Day gift card for dinner at Red Lobster.  I had Fish and Chips and Larry had shrimp and linguini.  Both of us really enjoyed the meal.  We very seldom eat out so it was nice for a change.

The weather here is HOT!  Supposed to hit 91 today.  We went by the library to pick up a Hold and then stopped by Walmart to get a few items.  Walmart gets a lot of business here as it is the only all around type of store we have.  Since we moved here 3 years ago, there has been added a Starbucks, Panera Bread and several small sandwich shops.  For such a small town we do have a lot of traffic at certain times of the day, especially now during tourist season since we are just 10 or 12 miles from Destin and the beaches.

Mary Ann, I haven't checked the web cams yet.  Will see if Paul has gotten to St Clair River.

I was posting at the same time as you were Larry, so I modified my post to say "hello".

[Mary Ann]

Paul is at East China (never heard of that town before seeing the map) and speculation is that the ship will go to Monroe to turn around, but not for several hours. 

Larry, what a nice long post from you.  I have something to do here but I'll go back and read the post later to see if I should remark about something.

Mary Ann

[Vanilla-Jackie]

Larry Hanna..
...yes you are so right, my daughter by now must be running out of people-friends-her-son, maybe neighbours too, to cause argument with, or upset, I must be the only person left, and I will not allow myself to be her target...even if I am her mother, I dont deserve that...

Edited to add: I am what one might call a " constant worrier, " When I had my Richard, he made a promise to me that assuming i would go before him, he would take care of my ashes, and I got him to promise that the three dogs ashes get scattered with mine...who is going to do that now? I have no one, my daughter if she carries on with her drinking she wouldn't be capable...She even had a small dog once, that poor dog got neglected, I dont ever recollected her taking the dog out for regular walks, even later on when she was married ( she is now divorced ) they had a couple of larger dogs, one was a gorgeous chocolate brown Labrador, I remember me and Richard looking after the dog for a week, she was absolutely a lovely natured dog, got on with all three of ours, and had two longish regular walks every day...well as far as I am aware, the only times she walked her was if she went out somewhere with a friend-friends and she took the dog, otherwise it was down to her hubby to walk them...My daughter is so irresponsible..
It is hard to know what her problems are...when I ask her " it is everything.."

She started the conversation off " I am sorry... mom I am sorry... sorry for everything "she was crying, I told her " we will move on from here, we will forget it.." then she brings up things from the past, it starts all over again..she wants me here with here..she is begging me to come to her, she needs me....when it suits her she puts the phone down on me...she likes to do the talking, otherwise it is " mom your not listening to me, " well she doesn't listen to me..She has never asked me " how are you mom..."

[Beverly]

I am so sorry to hear of Gloria's passing. As Larry said, things she said recently gave clues that she knew the time was near. She was always so upbeat in spite of the tragedies in her life.

Johann - Thank you for letting us know. Enjoy the time with your son!

Today was our hottest day yet. Temps reached 100. It's only 83 at the moment.

Chape bought some sweet corn today. First we've had this year and it was good.

Beverly

[Johann Mc]

Larry, I would be happy to have Pat's telephone number and I will send you mine also.  I still have your g-mail address in my computer so I will e-mail you with my house phone # and cell phone #.  I do get text messages on my cell phone also. I wasn't sure whether to post it in the forum here or not since I'm not sure who all reads the forum.

I would be happy to swap #s with anyone else that would like to do that also.

[Mary Ann]

The lost has been found.  The tomato knife was under the dish drainer in the sink.  I had looked in the drainer but I did not pick it up.  I now have two tomato knives as I started out with!

Mary Ann

[Denver]

Good evening.

This has been a much better day....my Dad woke up happy and continued to have a good day.  This was the best news❣️  He started some PT, three different times for nearly one hour each.  They said they would work very slowly to see how he did and what he is capable of doing. 🥰🥰

JEAN, nice to read you and Larry both enjoyed your meal at Red Lobster. 

LARRY, I sure did like reading that you were feeling so much stronger today....that is wonderful.

MARILYNE, it is sure nice to say that YES, my dad did have a better day today.  I hope your optical appointment went well and you enjoyed walking around Whole Foods. We did make a reservation to fly to Phoenix next Tuesday morning.  We could only get a reasonable priced flight at 5:15 AM (UGH)....with out having to pay a full price ticket.  I will continue to watch to see if anything else comes available......

JACKIE, I am so sorry your daughter continues to drink and make bad choices, that cause you so much grief.  She is crying out for help and I pray that something will get through to her that she must turn this bad behavior around so she can find peace. I pray that God can give you the strength to know what you can do to keep her from hurting you anymore. HUGS🙏

JOY, it is true that it never rains but it pours.....thank you for your continued support.

YIPPEE, the lost tomato knife has been found!  Great news, MARY ANN❣️

I wish you all a good evening...pleasant dreams to all.

Jenny

[Vanilla-Jackie]

Jenny...
...thank you for talking to me...Just woken up 7.am this morning, unusual for me as I am usually up 6.am but I started off crying as I got out of bed, I talked to Richard, told him he was right, when he told me that he was all I had got, told him about how I feel so alone, I am alone...Told him we have our parkhomes annual AGM meeting tomorrow, not one person on this site has approached me to offer to take me to the hall in their car, ( so isolated here, takes a few miles to even get to the A road ) I always told Richard this is not a close knit friendly site, no one comes near me, apart from Nigel maybe once a fortnight on his way back after walking his two small dogs...

If and when all solicitor business is over and dusted, time to sort ME out, do I stay or do I move? that will be another thing I will have to deal with by myself, and if I move, where do I move to?...If I head towards back home I will be nearer to my daughter, I cant take her and her problems, I have an illness...anyway at my age 68 I dont need this, it feels like I have gone back in time, 35 or so years, nothing has changed, I cant believe my daughter is no different to what she was then...I dont even hear from my grandson, told he is always working, he never replies to my emails nor phone calls, we have not fallen out, i just think this is him-how he is, busy...

I know things will come together, things will sort themselves out..There is no monies in Richards will that is going to anyone else, not his family, all is coming to me, but I know his sister thinks they will be getting a share, i know his family wont be too pleased with that, I am already an outsider, and maybe my daughter thinks that too, that she is in Richards will, I am glad she wont be but she may pester me to help her paying rent and so forth, under different circumstance i would but not if my Richards money is going to go on drink every time she -her life faces problems, things in life start getting her down, we all face problems in our lives, look at me, I have just lost Richard, I live with MS... thankfully I dont turn to drink, what will drink do? it creates more problems, my daughter says drink " numbs " her problems...

My daughter-Grandson and Richards family, sister, nephews and nieces are only left monies in the will when I die, we both made our wills out together with the same solicitor office back home...Of course if my situation ever changes I can change my will, ie, if I was to marry but I very much doubt that I would ever change it, it certainly would not be what Richard would want, his family being left out, after all he is-has provided for me, I must honour Richards wishes...see even in death, Richard is still looking after me...he done that from day one when we first met...I never needed for anything...I had everything, a nice bricks and mortar house, three glorious dogs, a car, and Richard, now I have lost everything, oh, and I also had my health...never ever saw MS coming...nor did I-we see that we would lose Benji within 7 months of moving here and Richard in 3 years of moving here...

[larryhanna]

Hi Everyone.  We have another overcast morning and expecting a high around 90 degrees this afternoon with a lower than 50% of some popup showers. I got up a little after 4 am this morning but had gotten about 5 hours of good sleep.  So far my sleep has been limited to about 2 hours at a time and then a quick trip to the bathroom is required. 

As I read all the posting in the three discussions I follow I noted that things seemed to have really improved from what we were talking about yesterday and sure glad to see it.  While probably not as peppy today as I was yesterday I still am getting around using the rollator.  I have had breakfast, downloaded an operating system update for my iPad and iPhone, am all dressed and done a few other chores.  I see the rest of the day as a very restful one. 

I started to listen to an audio book last evening that I had downloaded but realized I was too tired so shut it off and will restart listening later today or this evening.  Yesterday was a very productive day and a great day for me as I only used the wheelchair to get up to my big computer and used the Rollator the rest of the day.  I felt much strongly and it felt very good to walk, which I did quite a bit of.  I did a number of telephone calls including one to the SimpliSafe Home Security System folks as their great sale and special offers were expiring at midnight.  I got it all ordered and this time no hold was placed on the transaction as a security measure.  The good news is that I will end up paying less than I had thought when I first talked to them.  The have a panic feature that you can push a button to call for help and so I won't need to get a separate Life Alert to wear.  I actually am buying the equipment for the system and then the monthly monitoring charge is only $25/month.  This will be a project for my BIL when he visits in a few weeks.  So that was two things taken care of at once.  I got some changes started on some other accounts via online but will need to do a little more on that. 

Scott texted me last night saying he would like to come out and have lunch with Pat and I and then expect he will go home and rest until evening when he and the girls will be here.


Jean, we like the gift cards to restaurants, although it has been awhile since we went out to eat, because they do not take up shelf space.  Stacey always like to go to Red Lobster as she loved the shrimp.  A couple of nights ago Pat made some linguini with canned chicken in her Instant Pot and it was very good and made a big batch.  I expect that might be what we will be having for dinner this evening although the girls prefer to get something to eat from a restaurant and then bring it here to eat.  I believe you had hotter weather than we did yesterday as think we stayed in the high 80's although the popup rain storms in the area missed us entirely.  I have never been in a Starbucks but have enjoyed some of their pastry that a friend would bring to our Al-Anon meeting and share with us.  I also love the bread and pastries at Panera Bread.  Glad you modifies your posting to say "hello". 

Mary Ann, my posting yesterday just kept growing and growing as the day got later. 

Jackie, it is usually the tendency of the non-alcoholic to want to be a care giving type of person. Unfortunately the alcoholic or addict is very willing to let you be that although only they can decide to try to change their lives and sometimes they simply are not willing or able.  I know when Stacey went into recovery I had nothing to do with it although I had tried everything I could think of to do.  In this family disease we become "sick" but we have to make our own decision to try to get better.  We don't usually make a change overnight and I often have seen broken loved ones come to meeting and not be able to do anything but cry.  Over time it is such a joy, although not my responsibility, to see a smile replace the frowns and tears and to know they are on the path to their own serenity.  I think Stacey was probably only a few months from death when she decided she had hit bottom and was ready to try to find her own path with the help of like folks.  It wasn't an easy road for her but she recovered with the help of other drug addicts and lived on for 8 more years.  By the time she sought help there had been much damage done to her body but with all of that she said many times she was enjoying life and our relationship.  Most of us are "constant worriers" as we love the person whether they are lovable or not.  When I made the decision to get out of her life in terms of judging her or trying to tell her what to do and just simply could put my arms around her and tell her I loved her what a difference it made in this old dad's life and feeling that as the father I had to fix everything. Of course your daughter is irresponsible as she is addicted to alcohol. 

Beverly, you had us beat on temps yesterday.  Pat also got some fresh sweet corn at the market she stopped at yesterday and we each had an ear for our dinner.  She fixed it in the Instant Pot and it turned out well. It was also our first sweet corn of the season. 

Johann, thanks and I have sent you Pat's telephone number.  I have your info now and will get it entered into our phones here but am hoping that it won't be necessary for anyone to have to call as think my family knows it is important to our group to get the word out. 

Mary Ann, glad you found that pesky little tomato knife.

Jenny, your posting late last night is sure the type we all wanted to see.  It is amazing what a night's sleep can do for a person as evidenced by your Dad. I do hope the PT helps him.  I liked feeling stronger yesterday also and hated to see the day end. I am going to be able to take today slow and easy but am still walking around with my Rollator, something I really wasn't up to doing just a couple of days ago.  Glad you are going to get to fly to Phoenix next Tuesday so you can see the situation for yourself.  Do you use Southwestern airlines or another carrier.  At least it isn't a very long flight from Denver to Phoenix with the time involved getting to the airport and ground transportation at the other end.  I hope you get a redcap and a wheelchair to get around those big airports. 

Jackie, it sound like Richard really cared for you and was going to be sure you were left with his assets.  In my view no relative has any right to expect to inherit as they didn't earn it.

[Mary Ann]

I'm up but I'm not sure I am attem yet.  I got up about 6 am and computed for an hour, then went back to bed until 8:30 am.  I'm not sure the second time is that good because it takes me more time to wake up.

It rained overnight but the sun is shining now.  I looked at Marine City this morning and there was a ship going through the fog and I could see it was raining hard. 

School is over for the school year and we'll have to see what Tom is going to do for money.  I don't mind helping him but I don't want to subsidize him for two months.  He doesn't want me to, either, but he can't be two months without funds.  Summer jobs are not that available for 60+-year old people.  Even Uber is taken over by teachers in the summer and Uber has changed its schedule of paying, naturally, not to the benefit of the drivers.  We'll take each day as it comes. 

I think I mentioned we will be taking Dot to lunch tomorrow for her birthday.  She is six years younger than I am and is still driving.  I was driving at her age, too, maybe a few years after.  She doesn't know how much longer she will be able to drive, but she doesn't have a Tom in the house for transportation.  Her daughter did retire so she could help her mother. 

Tom just came upstairs for breakfast and is going to fix scrambled eggs for both of us.  He does a good job with scrambled eggs but I am not overly fond of them.

Larry, it is a joy to read your posts these days; they are so upbeat.  I'm sorry Stacey had such a rough time, but as you have said, it was of her own making.  I have not had experiences such as hers, but I know what ever ups or downs in my life were really of my own doing.  I think most of us go through a period in our lives where we think we know best - only we don't. 

Breakfast is here.

Mary Ann

[Marilyne]

Good morning to Larry, Jackie and Mary Ann . . .  the three early birds this morning!

Jenny - thanks for taking the time to keep us updated on how your dad is doing.  I know that you're busy, with so many other family obligations.  I hope the young lady that Dave and Michele hired to help with the children, is working out well?  That will give Michele a chance to concentrate on her chemo treatments, but still will be available and right there, to be with the children. 

Larry - you gave Jackie some very wise advice. It's human nature to want to guide and protect family members who are addicted, but ultimately, it is up to the individual, to make the decision to take steps to make the changes in their life. 

Jackie - The fact that your daughter made a conscious decision to be sober, when she joined you at Richard's funeral service, is a good thing.  She can do it, when she sets her mind to it, but is not strong enough at this time to stick with what she knows is right path to take.  Eventually, she will see the light. 

I had enough activity yesterday to tire me out, so will be taking it easy today.  Tomorrow will be a very stressful day, as there are a number of appointments on the agenda, that will be unpleasant.  I'll go into more detail later today. 

Mary Ann - In case I forget tomorrow, be sure to wish Dot, a Happy Birthday, from me.  Even though she doesn't know me, you've talked a lot about her over the years, and I feel like I know her!