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Bosom Buddies

Started by Pat, March 29, 2016, 01:17:18 PM

Previous topic - Next topic


I just read on SeniorLearn that jane's Ray died this morning.  Deepest sympathy to her and all her family.
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."


She also sent out an email to all of us. Please accept my deepest Sympathy Jane


I am so sorry to hear that
Jane's Husband Ray passed away.

A very sad time for Jane and their family..

Sandy Davidson

"Two things are infinite:
The universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe."

― Albert Einstein


Jane...my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time....


Oh, Jane.  My heart aches for you.  I know how hard it was when Bob was in his last days--and I'm sure you'll be grieving for quite some time.  But I think you may be glad that he is no longer in pain and suffering as he has been so recently.  Prayers here for you--take care of yourself and try to rest.

Take care, Every Buddy.


Yes. I also heard on my EMail. Sad news for all of us. I am sure that he didn't want Jane to be taking care at home under Hospice . People seem to know when to go.
We are all feeling your pain. It's so hard letting go but hard watching them in pain.
He knew that you were close bye. Just slipped quietly away. It was hard for him to stay knowing how tired you were.
Glad that some family close to you.
Take time now to catch up with yourself.
We all will be thinking of you over the next days this coming week.
Later think about the good life ,so many memories to look back on. He sounds like he was a wonderful husband.

Sent from my iPad


Thank you all...maryz,Cottoncandy, JeanneP,Marilyn, SCFSue, CallieOK, so_P_bubble, Sandy, JeanneP, Sharon for your kind words and personal messages.  I appreciate the compassion we have here for each other and the issues that come up in our lives, whether it's awful disease/medical issues in ourselves or in our loved ones.
I'm so thankful to have friends who've offered all kinds of help and family who are here or are coming to stay with me. 

I'll be back when I can.



I hope jane is coping well today.  These first few days are so full of immediate decisions that reality really won't have a chance to soak in.  Unfortunately, that comes a little later - and, of course, for longer.  Love and hugs, jane!

(p.s. - just saw jane's post.  Hang in there, Babe! We're with you in spirit, if not in the flesh.)

We had forecast of scattered thunderstorms today - standard summer stuff.  We had some yesterday, with some roof damage to our airport terminal, but nothing at my place.  This afternoon, I went for my mani/pedi, and the thunder was off and on while I was there.  Just a few sprinkles when I left, but I drove through some hard showers on the way home.  I thought when I got home, I might have to wait in my car until a shower passed over.  Then on the road right below our building, there was a huge tree down in a yard.  When I got to my parking place, there were only a few drops falling, so I got in quickly.  In the 2.5 hours I'd been gone, we had had almost 1.5" of rain.  On the other side of town, our major shopping mall had an inch of water on their lower floor, and roads outside were fender deep.  Crazy rainstorms in the south.  Marilyn, those fires in Oregon look awful - glad they're not near you.

Margaret is picking me up Friday morning to take me to spend a few days with Kate. We're looking forward to seeing her new house.

Stay cool, Buddies.
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."


Good morning, Every Buddy.  Jane, I am so sorry about Ray's passing.  You've been together many years and it is going to be very difficult for a long time.  I'm praying for comfort for you knowing it must be very hard and there will be lots of days that will be a trial for you.  Cyber hugs are coming your way.  Let us know how you are doing and know that we are all praying for you.

Mary, I think Jane will be busy with funeral arrangements, taking care of book work, etc. for a while.  Will any of her relatives be able to visit with her and help out?  I think most of her relatives are in the Chicago area but I may be having a Brain Freeze about that. 

I need to get ready for my bridge club here this morning, so need to get busy.  Have a good day, Every Buddy.



Good morning buddies....Sue...be careful walking if u have heat like we do here in Texas...We are having our family reunion this weekend...so don't know f I can get to walk or not until Monday....Hi to every buddy looking in...Have great day and weekend


Sue, I think jane does have family coming in to help out and give support.

Darlene, I'm sure you'll get all the exercise you need at a family reunion even without a specific walk.  That usually involves lots of visiting and cooking and cleaning, and just plain fun.  Enjoy.

I've managed to come up with a new problem.  I've not had heart problems before, but it looks like I might be headed that way.  My FP/PA sent me for an echocardiogram a while back, and with the results of that, I was referred to a cardiologist.  I saw him on Tuesday, and it turns out the issue is with thickening of one of the heart valves.  I'm told this is a "mechanical" problem, so will probably be treated with some sort of procedure. So now I'm to see somebody at the Valve Clinic section of the Chattanooga Heart Institute, in about 3 weeks. One of the girls will probably go with me. I guess this might be the cause of my worsening shortness of breath and weakness.  We shall see.

Happy Thursday, Buddies!
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."


August 01, 2019, 11:03:03 AM #7361 Last Edit: August 01, 2019, 11:05:03 AM by Marilyn
Good morning every buddy. Yesterday I went with the Social Worker to meet my new Hospice Patient. I will doing some Respite care for her since her husband needs to get out to pay bill and shop. I found out that she likes dogs so I will take Freckles with me for this visit and see how Freckles responds to her. She may no respond well since the lady and her husband are smokers. They don't smoke in the house but if the hands smell like smoke Freckles just might turn away  when they try to pet her. That has happened before at the Hospital.

Keith is doing well, he doesn't think he has dementia or Alz, but still doesn't know which direction in  the house is the bedroom most of the time.

Good to see a post from Jane. She will be busy for awhile. Send you  good thoughts and many prayers Jane.

Keith is doing well, he doesn't thin k he has dementia or Alz, but still doesn't know which direction in  the house is the bedroom most of the time.


Marilyn, your Freckles is a very perceptive dog (person?).  I really commend you for your Hospice work.  And you surely have a tough time dealing with Keith.  I seem to remember you have someone come in to stay with him when you're gone.  It's good for you to have a break from time to time.
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."


He doesn't need anyone to stay with him when I am gone any longer or should I say YET. He doesn't wander off mostly hangs out either in the house or outside sitting in a chair. In fact the caregiver hasn't even showed up here for a couple of weeks to clean our house. I  did the vacuuming, my back didn't like that very much. All she did the last time she was here was shave Keith.


Mary...hope the mechanical fix is an easy one for your "ticker."

Hi to Marilyn, Sue, Darlene, Jeanne.

I hope we hear from Sharon soon and she's on the road back to good health.

It was a beautiful day today and Patricia and I drove over to the Trappist Monastery to get a wooden urn for Ray's ashes. They had a lovely walnut "companion" urn which means there's room for both of us.  I'm having the name engraved on it and can pick it up on Monday.  He would like it, I know.

Tomorrow we have to go to Cedar Rapids to get a recall on the car fixed, look for some dresses for me for the visitation and funeral, stop by Sam's Club for paper towels, stop at the UPS store to ship two things back, etc.  The portable oxygen concentrator we'd bought was still within the 30 days free trial and he only used it once and it didn't work well for him as it is pulse and he really needed continuous flow.   It was a lovely unit for someone who could use it.

Take care of yourselves and watch the heat.



Jane, thoughts and prayers continue here for you.  There is so much to be done following Ray's death and I'm sure it will be hard for you.  I am glad that your friend is visiting you and helping out.  Take care of yourself--rest when you have time and know that you are in our prayers.



Good morning, Every Buddy.  Jane, thoughts and prayers continue here for you.  You'll have lots of things to deal with in the next few days.  I hope that you will have time to rest and reflect--losing Ray has to be devastating.  You had a long time together and I'm sure you will always treasure those years.

Yesterday, Eddie came by about 9:00 to take me to the library and to Kroger.  When I finished shopping and we brought home the groceries I put them away and I took Eddie to a nearby place for lunch.  He is going to Tim and Kris's home today for their annual pool party. 

I'm not dressed yet, but plan to get dressed soon and out for my daily long walk around the block.  I've cleaned up the kitchen and will get outside soon.  If I wait too long, the heat is unbearable!

Have a nice day, Every Buddy.


Hi Buddies! 

jane, I hope things are working out for you today...getting arrangements made, etc.

Margaret picked me up yesterday morning and we drove to Kate's in Berea, KY. I'll be here for a few days, and Margaret is going back home today.  Berea is a lovely little college town with an interesting history (you should read up about the college and its beginnings), with lots of arts and crafts - so Kate feels very comfortable here.  Her new house is perfect for her, in a tiny quiet neighborhood of older houses, and she's happily settled in with her dog and two cats.  We went out this morning for breakfast bagels at a local place and a short driving tour of the town and area.  M & K are going out shortly to get a piece of furniture for Kate, and I'm going to "hold the fort" while they're gone.

Happy weekend, Buddies!
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."


August 03, 2019, 02:31:01 PM #7368 Last Edit: August 03, 2019, 02:32:50 PM by JeanneP
Nice to be out for a visit over next few day. Been awful this summer because of the heat. I just can't take in anymore and so not been any place. Can't wait for Fall now.
I will bring Beria, Kentucky up soon. Not heard of it. Can't be to far from Illinois.  I have just been watch the Port Huran. Camera and feel like going up to see it in Michigan. Looks great with all the weekend boaters our on it.Love being where can walk around a lake.
Hope Jane has help now over the weekend with her family there. Doubt much can be done with it being weekend. I am not sure about it as not been handling Cremations other than when doing family in England For my brother few years ago. Amazon how much I could handle on the Computer with the Cemetery and Undertaker.He did pass on Christmas day and Grave Vault could not be opened until March and so had time getting over there. Yours seem to have been handled well by working with Canada.
Hope others enjoying their weekend. I need to shower again and change to go out. Feel more like holding off until Sunday though.Fact feel more like taking a nap.


Mary....Ray and I loved Berea...the arts and handcrafted items were incredible.  I understand why your daughter chose there to live.  I have some gorgeous earrings bought from the artist and handmade lampshades in our bedroom.

Patricia is still with me and Don came back yesterday.  We're taking today "off" to rest and they're going to get the downstairs back to normal.

Thank you, Babes, for your thoughts and prayers.



Jane, I've been in here since the first message that Ray was gone.... but hesitated to say anything because I'm not one of the "regulars".  My sincere sympathy & know how much it means that friends care, and we all do. God Bless & give you the strength for the days ahead, and will tell you what my kids told me, "life is not over for you, Mom, so do what you want, when you want and enjoy every moment".  Sweet of them, I thought. Been 6 years now and a whole different world, and life is still good. Remember the good times.

MaryZ, I've wondered if you are alone now, I have missed the changes in your life. I'm sorry about the heart issues, been there & am amazed that seems everyone I know has been offered "valve replacement" lately. My brother's doctor (in KC) said he could have the TVAR procedure but not necessary if he chose not" (he is 94). Since I had the open heart surgery 6+ years ago & my cardio just suggested (strongly) that I should get the TVAR soon, I'm not sure I'm willing. They said 15 years when open heart but now they imported a new doctor that specializes in the TVAR (back when I asked about it 6 years ago he told me "that procedure was only for people that had less than a year to live & not strong enough for surgery!") because only a few hospitals in the US were doing TVAR successfully at that time. My cardio does not do surgery but the crew of doctors in the same clinic run people through like cattle, with his referral.

My 58 year old son had his aortic valve replaced last Oct (had to be open heart) but was because an infection that his family doctor had let go for 3 years (insisting he didn't want to use the major antibiotics) got into the blood stream. The infection ate away at his valve & so dangerous he had to stay in the hospital for a week before they could do surgery & remained on such strong antibiotics they told him his "veins couldn't tolarate" their strength. He is still being monitored & warned to rush in if any sign of cough/cold/infection.

At any rate, I would make sure you get a 2nd opinion from a totally different clinic & not the same group before you let them do anything. I had the new pig valve (what my Dr said he would choose)6 years ago plus 3 by-passes. A few months ago I agreed to allow the cath & got 2 stents installed. The meds messed with my system so much I am not sure I will let them do more. Can't blame them that my body won't tolerate Plavix and whatever meds he used during the cath. The stents seemed to help some of the short windedness but realize I should be doing PT but am not taking time. I was shocked that the bill as an outpatient in a clinic set up & owned by the group of doctors... cost over $130,000 (in by 6:00am & out by6:30pm) & I didn't even get offered a sandwich! Still have bills showing up, not sure what Medicare & Blue Cross actually paid, but outrageous. Because we dealt with this for Cas for so many years, I have the best insurance for me... no co-pay. My monthly out go is high. Get you one way or the other. So I will end this book. I was going to send you e-mail but wasn't sure you still used the mailbox from many years ago. How long has it been since you went to Alaska?


Hi Shirley - always good to see you, even if you came for such a sad reason.

Thanks for the advice about possible procedures.  One of the girls will be going with me (probably Jean), so there will be another set of ears to listen.  I would love to think something could help with the shortness of breath.  We did our Alaska trip in 1998 - still loved doing it! My e-mail is maryzelle4@gmail.com .  Are you still in your same house?  John died 4 years ago this month, and I moved to a retirement complex (independent living) the following October.
 It's worked well for me.

Kate and I didn't do much of anything today, but grandson, Andy, and his wife, Erica, came for dinner and evening - they live about 40 minutes away.  I hadn't seen them for a while, so that was a treat.

When are you going to have the service, jane.  Will there be much family there?  Take some time for yourself.

Hope everybody has a good week coming up. 
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."


Hi every buddy....we are really heating up in Texas this week...may not walk much with the high humidity...mabey if I can go earlier....sad to hear of the senseless shootings...loss of life and injuries...makes you almost afraid to be in crowds anymore...Hope Sharon is doing better...has anyone heard from her via email?..our family reunion was great...company gone...washing sheets and towels...Jane thinking of you...glad you have family...friends support....Hi to Sue...Mary...Marlyin...Jeanne...hope you have cooler weather where you are.....take care


Darlene, Sharon said on FB that she was hoping to get into a skilled care (rehab?) facility today or tomorrow.  I don't have any additional information about that, but I assume the pain she was experiencing was too much to be handled at home.  I hope she is finally getting some relief, though.

jane will be dealing with services and family for the next few days - I know they'll be tough for her.

Kate and I are doing fine together.  She's in such a nice little neighborhood, and is settling in.
She's gotten to a couple of knitting groups, and is going to meeting of humane society volunteers tonight.  She's finding all sorts of things to check out - for interests and ways to meet people.

I guess we're all still in the summer "hot & muggy days".  After all, it is August.  Stay cool, Buddies!
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."


August 05, 2019, 07:04:39 PM #7374 Last Edit: August 05, 2019, 07:08:53 PM by jane
Hi, Shirley...I always thought of you when we passed through Wichita coming or going from Tx.  You are welcome to come and post here.

Didn't sleep well last night, so tired tonight.  We're so dry, so hope the projected storms do come our way.  We really need the rain.

I hope Sharon is healing and can get to the facility she needs for rehab.



I didn't realize that. Sharon was having such a problem. Thought she was home recuperating.

Jane. Hope that things will soon ease up for you and you will be able to get the rest you need. Been hard on you it seems ever since Texas trip.


Good morning everyone. Today I will be taking Keith to the Dr. for his 6 month checkup. I did get  an email from the Dr yesterday telling me that his  diagnosis is Alzheimer/dementia and Vascular Dementia. I had emailed if he should see a Neurologist for a full diagnosis.

I also need to take Freckles to the vet as she is itching again so I think she is going to eed some allergy testing.

Shirley it is good to see a nice long post from you. Keep  coming back and posting.


Thanks for the welcome, I expect that like most of you, never enough time to make the rounds of each discussion every day, but nice to catch up.

Mary, good that you chose the retirement living, this house is about to drive me over the edge, but I'd have to have these feral cats put to sleep since nobody else can feed them and can't move them. Their mother gave them to Cas as babies, weaned them in the back yard and we didn't see her again for about 2 years. By then Cas had died and the people that had been feeding her (Mama Callie, could never pet but did trap & have her fixed)... so she moved back to my house/yard when that couple moved. Long story short.... she isn't litter box trained so can't take her when I travel but I leave cans of Friskies with a couple neighbors in case they see her. We tried having someone put food out in our yard but nobody saw her the whole time & it drew the opossum, raccoons & skunks. Last trip I left 2 self feeders in the pool area, she didn't come home for a week after we got back so not sure what her plans were. Anyway, I'm stuck with the house as long as I can handle it. Are you still painting?

Jane & anyone else traveling through Wichita, let me know & I'll send you my phone number & I'll meet you where ever you stay, was such fun to meet Mary & John all those years ago. I do live on the west side of Wichita, near the by-pass around the city & not that far from #54 / 400.  But I try not to drive after dark, getting old, you know.  I also met Bobbi & her dog, January, remember when she was traveling the highways?  She was staying in WAlmart parking lots... I do the same when on the road & can't get to a campground before dark. Always do in Salida, CO to get adjusted to altitude when going to CO.

Marilyn, my cats are scratching something awful. I have not put the Sentry Fiproguard on them yet this summer... I hate to put that poison on if they aren't getting fleas (none so far), but think someone said "oak mites" are causing the itching. Not sure it works for that. I won't lock them in the house, they are free spirits as long as I am in control.... we kept old LaurenKat inside for a couple years after she was hurt one time & I vowed to never do that to a feral again. She would sit by the door & slump in despair , broke my heart. I finally convinced Cas that we'd let her out days & make her stay in at night. She delighted in slipping out if either of us opened a slider after dark! I have the Sentry guard sitting here waiting to go on, not an easy job for one person!

On June 18, 2019 we had a hail storm, didn't think too bad but hail was jagged & lots of damage. Got a new roof already on the RV, one to come for the house & this week my car "exploded" ...actually passenger side front window hit by weed whip rock & totally shattered. Got that taken care of yesterday morning... can't cool a car with window wide open!  Just about everything around here "threw craps" as the guys used to say. Sprinkler system, valve to add water to the pool cracked, my Fitbit band wouldn't come loose to change bands so couldn't wear (my watch as will as fitness/sleep monitor), name it & it broke.

On my return trip after getting the window replaced yesterday, I decided to go turn the receipt to the store & let them deal with their landscaping people. That put me near Sam's Club to get the chicken for the cats (they sometimes get rotisserie chicken, but lately liked the canned chicken breast... along with their cat foods, people salmon & tuna, not much spoiled). The slices of pizza at Sam's sounded good, comes with a huge drink & nearly supper time by then... got home dead tired, was about 3:30 & I left the house about 9:00 am.... My glasses were still dark as I tried to put that Coke down on the cabinet & missed. It hit the floor with a bang & ice & Coke shot everywhere... on those wide dark oak wood floor with the cracks in the floor that love to hold every icky it catches. I was too tired to cry so cleaned it up, feet still sticking here & there but scrubbed it twice... have to laugh, I took one of those political cards that fill the mailbox this time of year, they are the best scoopers ever invented... scooped the ice back into the cup to throw into the sink... only when I lifed the cup turned out the bottom had cut out a perfect circle & the ice came right back out. Now, that's a sad story, isn't it?  :uglystupid2:  The thing is, everything could have been worse, all's fixed except getting the roof ON... I am a little frazzled but no worse for the wear & probably needed the extra exercise.

I'm thinking about running away from home but no place cool in the US!  Thanks for letting me vent.... Shirley


Just checking in....we are having 100+ temps...walked early this morning...but will be cutting back till cooler weather....Thinking of Jane and Sharon....better days to come..Hi to Shirley...enjoyed reading your post....Hi to Sue...Marlyin...Mary Jeanne..any others looking in...stay well and cool......


I read on FB that Sharon is in a nursing home where she can get rehab.  I told her we missed her, and she is going to try to get here with her phone.  She sounded pleased to finally get her rehab started.

The hardest 3 days of my life are coming up.  Prayers and Good Thoughts would be appreciated.