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Norms Bait and Tackle

Started by dapphne, March 30, 2016, 09:23:16 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

MaryPage

I am afraid of, or turned off by, too much red.  Not little bits for accent, such as a pot of red geraniums or a Christmas stocking, but red walls are the worst, then red upholstery, and so on.  Second husband, David, and I were in San Francisco in 1969 (because it was on our bucket list), and we went to a hugely recommended restaurant and were seated and reading the menus, when I suddenly felt I was going to die.  I could barely breathe.  So we high tailed it out of there, and I got better out on the sidewalk, and we went elsewhere and enjoyed ourselves.  The place was all red and black, and very heavy on the red.  Walls, banquettes, tables, chairs, EVERYthing!  I have read that red in a restaurant is there to make quicker turnover in customers, and thus more money; but this was Over The Top!  I felt as though I were in Hell, for sure! So what does a fear of red mean?  More like an aversion to red.  And what are you if your favorite color is blue?  I have blue everywhere, it is my favorite color and was Bob's, as well.  I have read that restaurants don't like to go with blue because it is too calming for customers and makes them linger too long, and thus less profits.

Marilyne

MaryPage: The much touted restaurant in San Francisco that  was red and black . . . my guess is that it was Ernie's

angelface555

#2792
Bubble, Issac Swords came up with the name prasinophile. His bio says he's from Glasglow, Scotland and loves to play with words and coin new words on the Internet.

MaryPage,
"Red is a vibrant color. It is the most common color of rose, the shade most often used in lipstick, a favorite show and dress color â€" and it often warns us of danger. Maybe that’s why some people fear the color red. This fear is known by one of three names: Erythrophobia, Erytophobia, or Ereuthophobia.

This phobia extends beyond the color red to include the fear of red lights and the fear of blushing.

What Causes Erythrophobia?

Maybe the fear really does have a lot to do with the feeling of impending danger. After all we learn early in life that red is a signal to stop. Police use the color red in their flashing lights to indicate an emergency, and infamous ‘red light’ districts are generally considered something to be avoided.

However, if that’s true, how do you reconcile the idea of blushing? Does the act of blushing denote danger? Usually not. Blushing is generally viewed as a sign of embarrassment in the midst of social anxiety.

Fear expresses itself in so many different ways.

This phobia extends beyond the color red to include the fear of red lights and the fear of blushing.

What Causes Erythrophobia?


However, if that’s true, how do you reconcile the idea of blushing? Does the act of blushing denote danger? Usually not. Blushing is generally viewed as a sign of embarrassment in the midst of social anxiety.

The fear can even be a mimicked or adopted response based on moments of observation among those we love.

Symptoms of Erythrophobia

A person living with this fear may be inclined to avoid the color red. Since this is true you would not likely find items the color of red in their home, they wouldn’t have a red car and they would not likely be inclined to give blood.

Other symptoms may also include…

Panic attacks
Trembling
Air hunger
Weeping
Screaming
Control loss
A sense of dread
Elevated heart rate
Sweating
There is no easy way to talk a phobic personality out of their fear during moments when their fear is consuming their entire thought process and emotional energy.

How to Overcome Erythrophobia

Since you can’s talk an erythrophobe out of their fear when they are most fearful there will come a time when they can discuss their issues in a calm and collected manner. This is the time when a therapist may provide a comfortable and safe setting designed to share their experience and why the fear of red, lights or blushing cause them so many problems.

In those times of rational thought a therapist has the opportunity to find out core issues that are connected to the visible fear. The interesting thing to note is that often the visible fear is not actually the thing most feared.
Think of this a bit like the Wizard of Oz. The floating head was the visible representation of the wizard, but in the end it was just a man behind  a curtain.The fear that is expressed is not likely the only fear that may be lurking.

THE FEAR OF RED IS ALSO REFERRED TO AS:

Red fear
Fear of blushing

Mary Ann

#2793
I have been in more than one Chinese restaurant that was mostly red.  I think I am not bothered by any color, but I know in clothing grey is not my color.  Yellow and orange are not my favorites, but I can tolerate them.  Green and blue are my favorite colors.  I used to favor navy blue but now that I'm older with white hair, pastels are better. 

Patricia, I have had several red cars and loved them.  When I could not get red for my last car, I got royal blue!

Mary Ann

angelface555

I don't think MaryPage has a full blown phobia either but rather a strong dislike.

For a psychology assessment of favored colors and remember this is only an opinion by some psychologists.

"Personality Color Blue
While you may not exhibit all the character traits of a personality color blue as listed here, if this is your favorite color you will find yourself somewhere in the description. You may also find you exhibit some of the negative traits, particularly when you are stressed.

If Your Favorite Color is Blue

If this is your favorite color you are conservative, reliable and trustworthy - you are quite trusting of others although you are very wary in the beginning until you are sure of the other person. At the same time, you also have a deep need to be trusted.
You are not impulsive or spontaneous - you always think before you speak and act and do everything at your own pace in your own time. You take time to process and share your feelings.
You are genuine and sincere, and you take your responsibilities seriously.
Having a personality color blue means you have a deep need for peace and harmony in your everyday life - you don't like having your feathers ruffled. You would benefit from daily meditation and quiet time for reflection, introspection and self-discovery.
You appear to be confident and self-controlled, but may be hiding your vulnerable side.
Being a personality color blue means you are generally fairly even-tempered, unless your emotions take over - then you can become either moody and over-emotional, or cool and indifferent.
You are sensitive to the needs of others and caring with your close circle of friends. While you are friendly and sociable, you prefer the company of your own close group of friends.
You are a rescuer and love to be needed but one of your lessons is to learn to love yourself first - you live from your heart and are always busy putting the needs of others first.
You can be rigid - you like to stick to what is familiar to you and it is hard to sway you from your path - you stubbornly do things your way even if there is a better way.
You need to have direction & order in your living and work spaces - untidiness and unpredictability overwhelm you.
You don't like to draw attention to yourself - you prefer to be in the background.
While you don't like to have discord or conflict in your life, you are often the cause of conflict with others; you can be quite manipulative but in a very subtle way.
You make a loyal and faithful marriage partner and you are an honest, trustworthy and sincere friend. You form strong attachments, but risk a tendency to become codependent.
You can be quite emotional, aware of others feelings and sensitive to the moods of others.
As a personality color blue, you are sentimental and love things from the past. You cry easily at sad movies.
You compare the present to the past, looking to authority figures, parents, bosses or other leaders, to support your beliefs about the world.
You are approachable and friendly, always making people feel welcome in your life.
You have a thirst for knowledge in order to gain wisdom and appear knowledgeable in whatever area interests you.
You are spiritual or religious with a high degree of devotion to family, God, or other causes that are important to you.
You can be too cautious and worry about every little thing.
If reacting negatively, you are prone to self-pity.
To find out more about the meaning of the color blue, click here.

The Deepest Need of a Personality Color Blue


Your deepest need is to find inner peace and truth, to live your life according to your own ideals and beliefs without having to change your inflexible viewpoint of life to satisfy others.


      If you dislike blue you:

You dislike routine and are looking for more stimulation and excitement in your life.
You may be tired of being the 'responsible one'.
You may feel sad and depressed when surrounded by too much blue.
You may not like the boundaries and restrictions of blue - you would like to be a free spirit.

MaryPage

Marilyne, I honestly do not remember the name.  This was 1969.  Was that restaurant in business then?  And was it red & black then?  David is the one who put all the information together for our trip, and he made the reservations for everything.  My mother was dying of cancer at the time.  This was in October, and I had been her caretaker since June and needed a break.  We went for four days, and David's mother stayed with the children while my mother went to a near by nursing home.  David's mother had come up from Texas; David was a native of Dallas.  My mother died the following May.
Thank you, Patricia.  I am not even going to TRY to learn to say those words.  As for the list of symptoms, I had a lot of them.  Air hunger, wanting to scream (I didn't), a sense of dread, probably an elevated heart rate, and possibly sweating.  What I remember most was that I just HAD to get out of there, and David was extremely understanding.  He did not put up so much as an instant's argument, but was just all "But of course," and most supportive, bless his boots!

angelface555

Thanks MaryPage, actually I identify with the personality assessment for the color blue.

Here is what Psychology Today says about colors;

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/digital-leaders/201106/what-does-the-color-you-choose-say-about-you

MaryPage

Well, what they say about blue is me to the tee.

I remember pink was my favorite color as a small child.  No one EVER bought me anything pink, not out of lack of kindness, but because I had these huge blue eyes (that everyone always commented on), and they bought me blue stuff instead.  I finally complained to my great grandmother, and all in one fell swoop THREE lovely frocks in various shades of pink arrived in the mail.  I was over the Moon!

Then, when I turned twelve, I started daydreaming big time, and imagined myself a bedroom redecorated in green and white with tiny yellow rosebuds.

My first evening gowns, at age 13, were one in white satin with red velvet bows and one in rose colored satin.  I am pretty sure the rose one was a hand me down from my cousin Lucy.

But blue has been my color for at least 67 years now.  Maybe longer.

Given that list, Patricia, I am definitely a blue.

Marilyne

#2798
MaryPage - If it was highly recommended, pricey and all plush red accented with black, it was Ernie's . . . a long standing San Francisco institution.  Waiters in black tuxedos, red velvety banquettes and walls, very ornate and rather stuffy.  In spite of all that, it was the "sophisticated" place to go, when I was in college in the 1950's.  Lucky you, if your date had enough money to take you to Ernie's.  It closed about 30 years ago, with much fanfare!   It opened sometime in the 1920's or 30's?

wjoan - I'm sure you remember it?

Sandy

Good Evening Everyone from
the cool but pleasant rocky coast of
Maine.   

When I traveled across the USA,   I never
once spent the night in a hotel or motel ....
I slept in my van every single night,
and never had any bugs in it.   But of
course,  I had to be careful with food in
the van and not leave any sitting around. 

Every week,  " The Bug Man"   comes here
to where I live.  We are a city that does have
a bud bug problem,  so they are vigilante
trying to fight the battle and keep
these apartment free of bugs.   
They do not spray unless they find a 
problem or someone asks them to
do it.     When I first moved into
this apartment,   I had the bug man
come and check to make sure that
there were no problems here.     

I also check my bed every day to make
sure nothing is lurking.    I do spray my
bedding with  a mixture of alcohol,  water and
essential oils ...         

So far,  so good.

I am a blue and green gal.

All is well here in Portland Maine... 

Winter is arriving s l o w l y .... 
:wave2:

Have a great weekend,  everyone!
Sandy 
 
  "It pays to keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out."

― Carl Sagan

Mary Ann

Patricia and MaryPage, I fit the blue personality in nearly every thing - except neatness.  If I could get rid of the piles of paper in my computer room, it could be said I am neat, but not at present.  Otherwise, the description fits me!

Mary Ann

MaryPage

#2801
Marilyne, that certainly describes the place to a tee.  But again, I just do not remember the name.  And it was not my date, it was my HUSBAND.  My second husband.  We were married for 34 years, until he died of colon cancer.  He was Chip's daddy, but he raised and married off my daughters and loved them dearly, and they loved him.

I'll bet that was the place.  There could not, could there, be another that was highly recommended and in every other way fits your description!

Mary Ann, I am what they call a "Neatnick."  Chip calls me OCD, but he exaggerates.

Beverly

#2802
I guess I am out of the norm (no pun intended!) here. My favorite color is red and always has been. My paternal great-grandmother loved red. She would ask me to wear something with red in it. She was much loved by my mother. To honor her my mother wore a red dress to her funeral. I'm sure she got many strange looks but my Mom was not one to care about what others thought. Gram would have loved it!

I have a red toaster, Crock-pot and blender. Also small red rugs on the kitchen floor. There are touches of red all over my house. Lots of red in my closet, too! Red seems to be the best color on me, so guess it was destiny.  :) I also love navy blue.

If you take a close look at my avatar, I'm wearing red........

Beverly

#2803
Angel - I just looked at your link. I don't think I fit their description very well. According to that I fit more into the blue category. Well, I DO love navy blue!

They do the test with crayons which made me remember, I always wore down the red crayons first.  :)

I just read the long description of a blue personality and 90% of it fits me.  Color me blue???

angelface555

#2804
My daughter was a redhead with that thick creamy skin and only three freckles right on the tip of her nose. Her eyes were bright green, large with gold flecks and always in the 95th percentile of height for her age group. At 18, she was just a smidgen over six feet.

So, of course, she loved orange, bright as could be and in your face orange. She never could wear it, but she accessorized her house with it and it was in all her watercolors and artwork.

I spent decades making everything in my house, peach,  pink and green. The suddenly in my fifties, that all went by the wayside and I discovered grays, blacks, and creams with just small touches of rose about. That was about the same time I gave up on Merlot and switched to whiskey neat. It wasn't planned, just evolved.It's all a part of changing, growing.

larryhanna

Hi everyone on a beautiful Sunday morning.  We didn't see the sun yesterday as it remained cloudy all day.  Yesterday was pretty much a lost day for me as was feeling so weary that I spend most of the day laying down.  I do feel more normal this morning (whatever normal is).  I was glad that I really hadn't planned on accomplishing much as it wouldn't have gotten done.

Last evening we did go to Pizza Hut as we had planned and took our absentee ballots with us to get someone to witness our signature.  Just as we were getting out of the car a good friend from church pulled up beside us and I asked her if she would witness our signature, which she willingly did.  We also had time to sit and visit a bit before her carryout order was ready. I will drop the ballots at the post office this morning and that will be accomplished for this election cycle. 

Pat's breakfast is ready for her as nothing to cook this morning other than to heat the sausage muffins and push the buttons on the coffee maker.  I have watered my flowers and am ready for church. I will definitely bring something home for our main meal today and then spend the rest of the day as a day of rest while watching some football and listening to Don's wonderful radio show.

MarsGal, thanks for the additional information on your root canal as had thought it was something that just happened.  You are probably right in that the dentist wants the infection gone before working on the tooth.  Glad the pain is lessening.

MaryPage, interesting theory on our teeth.  However, I am going to try to keep mine as long as possible.  I think I also belong to the "Neatnick" club as like things to be in order and don't like to see things not in place. 

Hope all have a very nice day.

Patricia, what a mess with the bed bugs.  It sounds like your city is doing its best to control the problem and hopefully the spraying will take care of them in your building. 

All I have to offer on the color discussions is that both Pat and I have preferred blue and in each new home, where we have been able to select the color of the carpets we would select a blue one, not royal blue but one with a more subdued tint.  However, interesting discussion on the different colors.

wjoan

The storm they promised us three days ago finally blew in during the night.  I slept right thru it. LOL  Oh well, just as well.  Was mostly wind with a bit of rain.

Need to do some more laundry today.  Had too much for one machine so figured I would space it out.  Right now tho am going to make me a cup of coffee.

Sure miss Jenny in here.  :(

Mary Ann

#2807
We said good-bye to our minister and his wife this morning.  After the service there was a coffee and cake reception for them.  It has been a mess because some people disliked his preaching so much, they left the church, but they also created a bad atmosphere.  I admit he wasn't the best preacher, but he is a good minister.  We've had that before, but never with such rancor; it's a new generation of people where if they don't like something, they make it unpleasant for everyone. 

Since Dot and I went to the coffee after the second service, we did not go to the Cholesterol Pit this morning.  Our refreshments were finger food except for the cake.  Cakes that come from bakeries have so much frosting on them!  And this was no exception.  I turned my cake on its side and ate the cake and left the frosting.  I have a sweet tooth, but there is a limit!

It's been a rainy day, in fact, there was thunder and lightning during the early morning.  I think it has let up by now.

Looking at Grand Haven, it's all fog except for the near-to-the-camera shot.

Mary Ann

JeanneP

I just have never cared for the colour Red. I did have one Red VW back in 1970. Don't like red cars. Look right now and all seem to be a Silver type of colour. I have one now and had 3 prior. I want to find one now in A Beige colour. Hard to find

I still stick to dark colours. After using School Uniforms for 16 years and later when working was all wearing of Suits in Navy,Black, Gray. I just never did get into bright clothing.  Now I stick to Beige, Browns, Blacks. Some colour in my tops. all clothes mostly tailored. Can't stand Frills and such. Not into Jewelry either. Just gold pieces . LIke Diamonds . Have my mothers Pearls from 100 years now. Don't know which of the Females in the family will be getting them. Can think of 4 that will most probably go for big wedding so will pass to one daughter to pass on to wear as the OLD as the wear their gowns.

JeanneP

MaryTX

Mary Ann, it was just the opposite in our church.  It was the "Old Guard" that created the problems.  The previous pastor had been there for 26+ years before he retired and Dr. Bob took over.  The Old Guard disliked him from the git-go.  He didn't do things the way Pastor Clark did and they made it so uncomfortable for him and for those of us who supported him,  after five years he asked to be reassigned.  A fairly large number of the congregation left also. They got their way and I heard later, they didn't like the new Pastor either :).

Wjoan, my sister who lives on the Washington coast said they lost a lot of trees from the storm and my other sister in Seattle said all they had was a little wind and rain.  Thankfully, the storm intensity wasn't as bad as predicted.

Mary

Click for Arlington, TexasForecast

wjoan

mARY tx, USUALLY STORMS WEAR THEMSELVES OUT WHILE GOING OVER THE cASCADES SO BY THE TIME THEY REACH US THEY ARE NOTHING.  kIND OF LIKE THAT.  lol

Sorry for the caps but did hot want to type it over.

Jeanne Lee

As some of you have noticed, I've been gone-missing for a while, but I'm back now, I hope for a long while this time.  I have written an explanation of what's been going on and posted i in Soda Shoppe HERE

Click for Corinth, New York Forecast

wjoan

Jeanne Lee, sure glad to see you bacv here.   Did misss you.

larryhanna

Hi everyone on this sunny Sunday afternoon.  This has been a good day.  When I called Pat after church to see what she would like for lunch she said she had put the small roast in the oven and would add some canned potatoes and peel some carrots to go with the remaining coleslaw.  So I didn't need to stop and bring something home to eat.  I then had a nice afternoon nap as I was tuned into Don's program and then we had out big meal for the day.  I have been watching football and working (playing) on the computer.

Joan, it is a good thing to be able to sleep through a storm. 

Mary Ann, I really can't understand leaving the church just because the minister may not be all that could be desired.  It is a sad thing.  When we joined the church we last belonged to it had over a thousand members and by the time we moved it was done to less than 300.  We had a break with a minister and then the demographics of the community changed and finally we lost a lot of members due to the divisions caused by the homosexual issue.  I hope you get a new minister that can help you built the church again.

JeanneP, when I mentioned that Pat and I like blue I forgot to mention that is the color of our car as well.  Again it is not a bright blue but has a little gray tint. 

MaryTX, it seems that many churches have problems like you describe.  I think that may be one reason that the Methodists move their ministers fairly often.

Jeanne, as I posted in CP sure glad to see that you are back home.

wjoan


Lindancer

Good evening, was a nice cool day, lots of sun shine.  By Tuesday it is going to be back up to 70

I just wanted to say I guess I have to like red, as I belong to two Red Hat chapters. We have to wear red hats and purple.  I have about 10 red hats.  When it is our birthday month we reverse the colors. One club is called RH Divas and the other Ruby Red & Wild Red hatters. Other wise i have to say blue is my favorite then purple.

Click for Riverhead, NY Forecast

Mary Ann

Larry, I started two replies to your post and got kicked off both times.  I refused to do it again.  They both had to do with our minister, but, while it was explanatory, it wasn't important.  I think someone posted at the time and booted me off.  Sorry. 

Mary Ann

larryhanna

Hi everyone on this Monday morning.  Here we have bright skies and mild temperature.  There is all kinds of activity across the street at the new house that is being built.  They brought in carpeting this morning and other workmen are there as well.  I have to wonder if there will be a closing on it at the end of the month.  Today will be fairly busy as this is my Monday noon meeting and then this evening the Men's meeting at church.

deAngel, with 10 red hats how do you decide which one to wear to your RH meetings? 

Mary Ann, sorry you lost your posting but guess it has happened to all of us from time to time. 

angelface555

Good morning from a bright blue, sunny Interior day! We have had more than a touch of early morning frost, yet if you click on a cam, there are large chunks of ice floating down some of the rivers, and it is cooling more in the early Am.

The Tanana and the Nenana, both flowing east to west and both flowing into the Chena, come from glacial fields. That explains how we may have floating ice and still some resilient outside bugs.

Speaking of bugs, still no call back from the local pest control office and no word on when they'll spray my floor or my apartment.Knowing that they will be spraying on three separate days and all my things stored away, I wish they would get on with it!

Mary Ann

It took two months for my "urgent" appointment following my nosebleeds.  Today was the day.  The doctor looked at both nostrils, my throat and ears (he's an ENT doctor) and found everything OK and I do not have to return.  I haven't looked at the report paper but he said something about a Triple Antibiotic Spray where I have been using the ointment.  Whether I use the spray or ointment, he suggested morning and night.  That is the nicest doctor's visit I've had in ages; he is a very nice man, but it was a nice visit because I don't have to return.

It's very humid today and we are at 70 degrees.  We'll be there for a couple of days, then the temps will drop.

Nothing else on the agenda today.

Mary Ann